We talk about the importance of moving on from relationships that have ended or continuing to live life after people we love have passed, but sometimes it’s the memories of those relationships that make that process so difficult.
As I made my way through this bitter sweet day, two years since my daughter was both born and died, it makes me think about how difficult it can be at times to get through our memories. Although I didn’t get to spend a lot of time with her in my arms, the 24 weeks that I carried her are extremely vivid. Watching my belly grow, knowing that she faced numerous complications but still believing for her healing, I don’t think there’s a time in my life that I’ve ever been so desperate for God to move. It wasn’t until months after she passed that I realized, He did.
I grew in Christ in ways that only that situation would allow. It was in that trying experience that I learned a very valuable lesson about faith. You see, I was convinced not that my faith had failed me, but that there was a flaw in my application of faith. I trust God’s Word, I know that it does not lie but my prayers and belief that my daughter would live and not die did not manifest. But God is amazing. He used my steadfast husband to remind me of the story of Job. And it was in that story that I realized, it’s important to have more faith in God to do what is good, then in our situation to turn out the way we think it should. I have no idea what kind of challenges my daughter would have faced in her life if she would have lived, or how dedicating myself to caring for her could have conflicted with God’s purpose for my life. He knew what the ultimately good outcome would be. And I believe that outcome is what occurred.
When difficult seasons come into our lives God doesn’t just want us to go through them, He wants us to grow through them. Despite how difficult those seasons may be the key is to draw closer to Christ. That is how we’re able to ultimately get what he wants us to get out of those times so that we become better, stronger and wiser to go on and fulfill our purpose in Him.