I can only speak for myself when I say that grudge holding has been a tough one for me to conquer, but God. He sure does have a way of changing our perspective on things. Sometimes we don’t realize that being and staying angry about a situation only hinders our own personal growth. We get so stuck in our feelings that we lose sight of the opportunity that difficult situations and seasons provide us to grow in Christ. Not only that, we can end up blocking our own blessings by harboring these ill feelings.
I talk a lot about the 5 years of my life my husband and I spent trying to have a baby, mainly because God revealed so much to me over this time. Grudge holding is one of those areas.
As some of you know my husband and I suffered several losses both early in pregnancy and late. We were putting so much faith into our situation and believing God for a healthy baby but there was no manifestation, until one day my Mother-in-Law told me. “Tawanda, you really need to forgive your dad. This just isn’t going to work until you do.” After years of having little to no relationship with my father and holding the biggest grudge possible against him, Lord knows that was a massive pill for me to swallow. But the truth of the matter is forgiveness is critical to some of the blessings of God.
I prayed my way through and the next Father’s Day I took my dad a card kissed him on the cheek and told him Happy Father’s Day. Inside, he was probably elated but outside, he looked like he could have cared less. But, that was ok. I had made a huge stride in forgiving him. Despite his inability or unwillingness to change or make any effort on his part, I did what I did for me. A year later, I got pregnant and birthed a healthy baby boy.
One of the most helpful things that God revealed to me during this process is that when people are mean to you, when they are deceitful or manipulative it is not the person that we are struggling with, it is a negative spirit that has come into their lives because of some situation in their past that they have not been able to overcome. It is that very understanding that will soften your heart to the realization that hurt people, hurt people. And with that understanding comes a strong desire to uplift that person in prayer and love them even more.
Ephesians 6:12 – For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.